Hi Folks,

In today’s letter I thought of sharing my personal story. I never talked about this to anyone in my life. It’s not a secret. It is just a vulnerable part of me. I preferred hiding it. But last week I felt really low. I was thinking too much about shaping my future to become the best writer.

But somewhere in my pursuit to go too far, I was forgetting the most important thing.

Here is my story.

I graduated 7 years ago. I was studying in an engineering college in Chennai. My final exams were over, and I had to leave my college hostel.

I left the hostel and I went to my home which is in a remote village.

I didn’t have a job. Most engineering colleges don’t provide you placements. Remote opportunities weren’t available like we do now. We must go to companies physically for attending interviews.

I stayed in my home jobless for a month. I felt I was a burden to my parents.

They didn’t say anything about it. But I knew they needed my help badly, financially.

So, I decided to go back to the city and search for a job.

I didn’t have money to afford a room. Some of my college friends were staying there. I asked them whether I can share their space. They agreed. They didn’t ask for money either. Because they knew my situation.

I didn’t have much money for food too. So, I decided to go to Chennai on the month of Ramadhan. Why on the month of Ramadhan? Because we get free foods all over the city for that entire month. (I survived the entire month hardly spending anything on food).

I had money only for my travel expenses.

So, with that I decided to leave.

I still remember that day when I was about to leave. I can see it crystal clear. I couldn’t sit in a place. I kept moving here and there. My face was red. My mind couldn’t stop thinking about the uncertainties.

What if I don’t get a job? What if I come back home without a job, spending the little money I have. I can’t go back again. I won’t be having money for it. I was afraid. I was scared.

My mom looked at my face and told me not to be afraid of. But I said it was nothing. I was simply thinking. That was the first time when I experienced so intense fear. That’s the fear of uncertainties.

Now my life has changed a lot.

Praise to God.

7 years before I didn’t have money to travel in a bus. But last month I made a sudden plan to Andaman and took a flight for it.

I don’t have to worry about getting a job now. I am experienced enough. I am now pursuing my passion which is writing.

And I am constantly thinking about shaping my future in writing.

More than thinking I was worrying. I got stressed. I wanted to make things happen as quickly as possible.

That’s when I recalled this incident.

Somewhere in my pursuit to go too far, I was forgetting how far I came.

Gratefulness is a choice, we often forget to choose...

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